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Formerly RealFaction. Music Producer, Voice Actor, Writer, Radio Host, Podcast Host, Co-Founder of the Art-Inspired Music Contest and Pixel Day. Just some guy who loves to bring smiles, and is pretty much a mega nerd. Profile picture by Shadowcat5150.

Johnny @JohnnyGuy

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JohnnyGuy's News

Posted by JohnnyGuy - 3 days ago


For those still out of the loop, I used to be Real Faction, until I recently changed my name to Johnny Guy (my real name). I promised a podcast version of a couple posts I made recently, and finally got around to it, explaining why I changed my name and am moving youtube channels. It's the final episode of my long-running podcast series of 4 years, Talking Real.



I'm still staying on this Newgrounds account, no worries! In the podcast, I talk about recent things happening to me, my journey through depression (and out of it), the origin behind the meaning of the name Real Faction (and why it isn't me anymore), my new artist name meaning, things I'll keep doing, things I'm discontinuing, and new things to come in the future (like comedy music), just stuff I'm working on.



I also realize I never talked about my return to The Newgrounds Podcast, but I'm coming back soon as a contributor (yes, more Jack Serious as well) but that's also a thing. It's a longer episode, but timestamps are in the description to skip around the topics, they're labeled. Enjoy!


Also, get my new album for $2, you get some of my new music, and every version of Simple Sight (including the new 2020 version) until Halloween, which it will be priced $10 after: https://piercinglazer.bandcamp.com/album/crypt-the-simple-sight-collection


11

Posted by JohnnyGuy - 8 days ago


I made a song for Madness Day after 5 years of not making a song for one of my favorite series on Newgrounds. I'm in a better place in life, more organized. I decided to go back to my roots with Liquid Drum & Bass, like I used to make in 2006 when I started making music as RealFaction, but it's like a spiritual reboot, as this is my first song under JohnnyGuy.


If you want more info about the inspiration behind the song, read the song's description, but it's inspired by Project Nexus (coming to Steam) levels directly. Enjoy:


Happy Madness Day, and love ya @Krinkels ol pal. I got another surprise for you all in a few days, get ready.



EDIT: Also, sadly to say, I am leaving @OffTheWallShow in a month. It's been great, but I want to do other things with my life. It's a great radio show that helps musicians get out there on the airwaves, and gets more traffic on newgrounds as we upload. I want to keep the show going though, even without me, so we're looking for a new host to look for music, has a good mic to record on from home, and has experience with audio mixing/editing.


If you're interested, and want more info, read and reply to this forum post: https://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/1457400


It's been a good run, but Crazy Johnny K. has a lot of things on the way elsewhere. I have a couple of interviews with a couple of great guests on the way, and I have to get through the remainder of my current submitted music musicians sent me. You've all been great, keep sending us music! I hope you enjoy these last few shows with me, let me know if you want to audition to be the next host, I want to make sure it goes to the right person. Love you guys.


Tags:

6

Posted by JohnnyGuy - 2 weeks ago


EDIT: And apparently I have an article on me on @TheTankTribune too haha unexpectedly! I'm honored. https://thetanktribune.newgrounds.com/news/post/1117094


I had hoped for this day someday, but I have finally been interviewed by @TheInterviewer, and what an honor it is! It couldn't have been at a better time in all honesty with my name change, I'm glad it wasn't until now. Honestly, I was shocked at how much he knows about me, and how closely he followed me career over the years. I'm really honored.


I'm officially calling him my #1 fan based on the stuff he's asked nobody else has, and how much of my work he's followed. It's pretty crazy, and awesome. It's the longest, and most thorough interview I've ever had, I was really impressed, and honored. Go read the full interview, both parts 1 and 2. It's good stuff.


Part 1: https://theinterviewer.newgrounds.com/news/post/1116441

Part 2: https://theinterviewer.newgrounds.com/news/post/1116442


Thank you all for following me and supporting me this far, it means a lot.


5

Posted by JohnnyGuy - 2 weeks ago


UPDATE 9/12/2020: Well my name got changed sooner than i thought! Haha. I am RealFaction no more, and now JohnnyGuy! For those who dont know, that's actually my real name. Yes, really! All my life I thought my name sounded like a cartoon character name so I feel silly not going with this.


I'm also really surprised at how this post has impacted a lot of people! Thanks for the stories and kind words, as well as support!


Also I just released another broadcast of my radio show Off the Wall, featuring an interview with @MetalRenard, check it out.


Also, today my heart goes out to all the families who lost those they loved 19 years ago in the World Trade Center's Twin Towers. May you be at peace.



By now, you all may have seen my last post about my journey to beat depression, and I mentioned I was going to change my name, and rebrand. I doubt a lot of people got to that part since the post was long, so I want that to be the focus of today. I'll eventually make a podcast of that soon. Maybe later today, I dunno. I want to get into the reasons why. I'll explain more in the podcast when it comes out.


That podcast will be the final episode of my long-running podcast series, Talking Real. After 5 wonderful seasons, for something like 4 1/2 years, it will finally be ending.


If you want to wait for the podcast version, I'll update this post soon when I record and upload it here to Newgrounds. Share the stories of where you guys came up with your usernames & artist names?


Opening


The main reason for my name change is my mindset change, and the origin of the name RealFaction being a bit negative, not who I am anymore. The new me is more fun-focused, but there's more than just that reason alone. I am also ending Piercing Lazer. It will be a new beginning for me. Let's get into it, shall we?



Reason #1: Name Origin (The Main Reason)


In 2006, I was 14 years old, working on learning FL Studio (Fruityloops Studio at the time) for months, before posting anything on Newgrounds in September of that year. I had been visiting Newgrounds for 3 years at that point. At the time, in my real life offline, I was surrounded in lies. I shut out my parents at the time, and though we get along better now, we're from completely different worlds, and I was hard to understand (I have Autism).


I wasn't sure what was true, what wasn't, who loved me, who didn't. I wanted to say to the world that at least I was real, honest, genuine, among the people, and the music industry, fueled with negativity and lies. It was a statement, but a cry for attention, since I was also quite lonely. Faction was a word I thought I made up, combining the words "fact" with "fiction". I wanted to show I put heart and soul in my work, but I don't feel the need to state that anymore.



I found a lot of truth since then, peace, and finally, happiness. I don't feel like I'm RF anymore, for those reasons, but someone focused less on worrying about what people think, success, money, love, any of that. I'm more focused on doing what I enjoy, having fun, making jokes, making things that make me laugh, radiating joy in my life doing what I love. It's a new direction for my music, as I'm working on comedy songs, and going to write a book for fun.


I'll still be putting out advice podcasts, and doing my radio show, I enjoy those things. I may come back to the Newgrounds Podcast, I have to talk with them about that soon, I haven't quite decided yet. I feel I need to decide my new name first, my new stage



Reason #2: The Castle Crashers Community


This one may or may not shock you, but some people know what I've had to deal with over the past 12 years. Having a famous song heard by millions around the world, comes at a price, emotionally. Before I get into this topic, I want to say, not all of them are misguided, mean people. A lot of them have said good things about the song, and a small number (who actually notice my other work) said kind things about my other work.


With that said, not all of them have been too kind, and I want to distance myself from that toxic part of the community, I'll explain why.



People will say what they feel, loudly, on the internet. As a friend recently told me, "people tend to express negative opinions more on the internet, than positive ones". It's true. I can't tell you how many times I've had to delete insulting comments on my youtube channel on my videos, people saying how I "only made one good song" (the one in Castle Crashers) and my "other work sucks". It's happened, a lot.


Mainly, because I've tried for so many years, back when I was more worried about success, and pleasing these people, I would advertise my work in the comments of the video of that famous song, and people would either be okay with it, or tell me to shut up and "stop being annoying".



For 10 years, they kept asking me to make new versions of the same song, but not checking out my other music, the newer songs, instead.


I have 10,500+ subscribers on my YouTube channel, mostly from that song. Now, most people have said "that's great", but it's simply not, because they're "pity subs" from fans of that song, they keep asking for more news of one song, even STILL waiting on updates on new things related to that song years later, but never supported my other work. I sadly kept enabling this, and fed into that, giving new versions, spin-offs.



I really didn't want to over-glorify the song, I wanted it to stop. I was miserable.


I get an average of maybe 200 views or less, per video, per song, on YouTube (I always got way more support on Newgrounds, though). It crushed me back then, that I poured my heart and soul into my work for those people, and for my fans who stuck around, and I wasn't "getting anywhere with it". I wasn't having fun, but I was worried about my future, being successful.


When I made Simple Sight, Pt. 2 in 2015, I was using that as a bait title for people to check out my other work, mostly on the album it was on, The Other Side EP. Back then, it kinda worked, but beyond then, it didn't. It still was underwhelming compared to what the original song got in views, but I was happy with the results.


But still, I was too focused on getting views, money, success. It was a mistake.



It got to the point where I gave up music entirely for 2 weeks, ignoring most messages from friends, alongside a recent person I thought was my friend betraying my trust. I had a lot to think about, where happiness comes from, as I mentioned before.


During that depression, that desperation, I announced an "ultimate compilation album" with every version of the song I ever made (and sneaking in some of my new songs) to put the song in the grave, to end it, to move on from it. I was desperate for money.


It's called Crypt: The Simple Sight Collection (cover done by the lovely @JensVerse my good friend), and I'll still be releasing it, with the final version of SImple Sight (2020 version), as a farewell to Piercing Lazer (the project I made it under) and Real Faction, to rebrand to a new name.


iu_166420_1743246.jpg


I don't know when it'll be out, Dustin's had some things come up, but he's working on the finishing touches, as we've collabed on it. Maybe within the week. I want to make something clear though: I do NOT hate anyone who likes that song.


But, I am disappointed that so many decided to "fake follow" me on Discord and YouTube, only to wait for more Necromancer Theme/Simple Sight news, on top of trashing my other songs. That's disrespectful to ANYONE. Can you imagine being told your other work is garbage, that you should give up, because you only made one good thing, many years ago?


I don't consider those people my fans, supporters. Most of them don't care about me as a person, or find anything else I do, any other music I do, worth listening to. They didn't care that someone wrote the song, they cared about the song, instead of respecting the artist who wrote it.


Even people covered my songs with big youtube channels, but they didn't care to throw my name out there to help me get some support either. I just want to distance myself from all those people, who only want to milk me for one song, and see me as a "one hit wonder", and not as a person. I'm tired of the insults, and fake follows.



Sure, I can still do what I want to, but I just don't want to be surrounded by that negativity anymore, I kinda want to distance myself from that song at this point, so people don't hold me under it anymore.


I've never had this issue on Newgrounds, thankfully, you guys have been awesome, and always supported my work. I don't expect all my work to be supported, but thanks for being here and still supporting some of my other work.


I've heard many "one hit wonders" have this same problem, like I remember Radiohead's lead singer always being annoyed when people ask them to play "Creep", and they've been against it. I feel their pain (it's a shame too, I love a lot of their other work, they make great music). I guess I was just baffled since I went to school for mixing audio, and came a long way, and never managed to land another game deal (at least not one that didn't get cancelled over and over again), even though I feel my other work is much better.



I don't regret making that song either, I'm thankful for it, and hell, I still get music royalties from it monthly, even if it isn't much, helps when I'm jobless. I'm thankful for Tom Fulp and having him bring me along that journey, and supporting my career, boosting it over the years. So, I do appreciate support for the song, and I'm glad people like it, but hopefully you understand where I'm coming from with all of this.


But, Real Faction & Piercing Lazer are where I will leave that song when I release the final album, Crypt: The Simple Sight Collection, in a corner, in a place behind me, as I am moving forward to new things. Keep in mind, I would've changed my name even if all this weren't issues for me, as it's more so about my new mindset.


Moving Forward


Ultimately, at this point, it doesn't even matter who supports me, I just wanna have fun, do what I want, without the negativity. That's why I'm moving to a new YouTube channel, but i'm staying here on this account on NG, just changing names, keeping the artwork/icon the same.


I want to give advice, do more podcasts, the radio show, maybe Newgrounds Podcast again, do comedy songs (I'm working on a couple), write a book, play games with friends and post game walkthroughs to youtube of games I enjoy, all for fun. That's all I know for now.



Thank you all for supporting me this far, I realized achievements won't make me happy, but doing what I enjoy will. Achievements/success, is all just a bonus, and temporary highs, but still something to be proud of. Ultimately, I wanted to be proud of myself, and now I finally am. Thank you all who have helped me through this journey.


The time of RealFaction is finally at an end, and a new beginning for me on this account as JohnnyGuy!


I can't wait to show you the new stuff I'm working on though! :) Love you guys! I want to spread more love and joy ~♥ love yourself, always.


16

Posted by JohnnyGuy - 1 month ago


UPDATED 8/31/2020: I added a couple more sections upon realizing more, to wrap up this post.


Chapter 1: Groundhog Day


This past week, I had come to a dark place in my life, as I have, time and time again. As I've progressed in therapy, though I don't hate myself anymore, or have suicidal thoughts anymore, I can't help but feel like I've been living in the movie Groundhog Day in the sense of my reality offline.


iu_162186_1743246.jpg


So then the question comes, "What do you do"?


I came close quitting music it got so bad, and everything else I've been doing. In fact, I dropped everything for like, 5 or 6 days, trying to escape my reality in games. I was miserable. I stopped responding to most people who messaged me, thinking to myself the thought, "everything in the before, now, and future, is pointless to continue pouring my effort into"


I had come to a point where I completely lost hope in my life getting any better, that I would live alone for the rest of my life, that I would always be betrayed by friends at some point after many years (many people have left me), I became so attached to people, wanting to please them, scared because I don't know what I'm doing, and I constantly have felt like I failed myself, that things never reach as far as I want them to successfully.


I felt that everything felt out of reach, and I was so far in a hole, I felt I no longer had the energy, or effort, to keep running in circles for many more years as I have, just tuning everything, and everyone out. I realized, what I'm doing now, isn't just for me, but I feel exhausted trying to make a life of mine stable.


I struggle with mental disabilities, and I hold myself back sometimes in fear because of what has happened in the past where I would be overwhelmed and unable to process things like other people can. I can't do it, things the same way others can. So I stopped trying to.



Part 2: A Failed System, Both Mine & Theirs


Then I realized, after days of shutting down and giving up hope, and didn't even know what would make me happy anymore, I came to the realization; I don't think money, or fame, or just any achievements would make me happy at all, because they haven't.


Then, other questions came: "What do I want to live for?" "What would make me feel proud of myself?" "What would make me happy?"


As therapy continued, I realized the source of my mental breakdowns are because, now, more than ever in my life, I actually for once CARE about myself, and the lack of knowing how to tend to my life properly in the way that is good for me, upsets me. I want to do good for myself, my life, but I'm frustrated because I keep constantly failing, and feel that void, that it kills me I don't know what to do with myself or my life anymore, since a lot of things aren't bringing me further to stability, to lead my life with.


I am not going to bend over to the corporate slave life I used to live again, serving these slimy assholes who don't ever give a damn about you. This is when I realized, though part of it is holding myself back, ultimately, this is a proper realization to make as a whole:


iu_162187_1743246.jpg


https://youtu.be/J7GY1Xg6X20



By system, I mean the government. Charlie's speech inspired me further, cemented these beliefs further (granted, it was a film that was written for him). No, you can't entirely blame the system, as I said, I do take some responsibility. But, because I am still learning about myself, and my needs, I am still frustrated not knowing what is good for me, after trying so many things, and failing so many things. And lately, because I've been drowning myself in video games to escape, to have fun, I realized, thats exactly what I needed: Fun.



Part 3: Redefining the Meaning of Success


I wasn't having fun anymore. My last post about the Necromancer Theme/Simple Sight Collection album is a good example of that, just doing things out of desperation, misery, fear. That, and a speech by Arnold Schwarzenegger, as well as that Charlie Chaplin speech, really opened my eyes. I had been so worried about others buying into my work, and taking everything seriously, that like Arnold said, I haven't been focusing on the fun part of anything anymore, the love of it, like I should be.


Like he said, because people who love what they do, get the success they want because of the joy people see in them when they work, doing what they love. I had been focusing on how it would benefit me to the point where I would constantly be scanning for results, driving me mad. I wasn't sure how to rely on myself, so I kept relying on others, like friends, way too much, in terms of what a friendship is, and when someone hurt me, I would spiral down into a dark place and be afraid, always looking for that safe place.


https://youtu.be/bQxqIKTO2Ck



I was angry that a lot of my music wasn't near as successful as my song, Simple Sight, because I know for damn sure many of my songs are better quality, and I worked much harder, yet the songs I spent less effort on, put less heart in, got out there. That's what broke my heart when it came to making music. It wasn't fun anymore because I was constantly wanting to get the attention, the approval, of those millions of people who like that song.


It broke me that many of those millions, thought that one song was all I was good for; a one hit wonder. I kept trying to prove them wrong. Key phrase: prove them wrong. I was trying to win them over, like their opinions mattered to me for validation that I was a good composer. I was tired of being boxed in, limited to a song I made in 2008, that pales in comparison to my higher quality music I spent days on. I wanted them to see I could do more, that I went farther, to see my accomplishments.


Some have even said my other music was "trash", that it was the only good song I ever wrote, and that 10,000 subscribers on my youtube channel only came around for that one song, not my others. I get an average of 100 views per video/song, sometimes 200. I always thought it was weird they only subscribed for one song, and keep awaiting for more news on one song, when I release a lot more music. I found it quite disrespectful to my craft, and me. But, aside from their bad manners, the problem was, their opinions mattered too much to me. I wasn't happy with myself.


I was wanting to do something current that would carry my life forward, to move me farther than I've ever been, and I've worked hard, but I've been running out of ideas, and have felt confused, lost in direction, for weeks now. My OnlyFans failed hard, no one subscribed to it, even though it was $5 a month. I wasn't just seeking money, I was seeking love. I didn't feel proud of myself, I felt empty, disappointed at another failed effort.


That Simple Sight Collection album was me, crawling up the walls in desperation not to fall into the abyss below, when I was losing myself, and have overdrafted my bank account so many times, needing more help than ever, as I've been broke. I was upset my album The Other Side Chronicles didn't sell well for $5, that I worked hard on for 5 years, so pouring my heart in, got less out. It was for the fans, this album as well. I was desperate for money, so selling it for $2 was my agenda, I sold out, because I lost faith in my ability, and I needed money badly.


Now, not all my ideas have been out of desperation, I have had some fun ideas, but ultimately, I'm still confused as to what I want to do with my life, what I want to do next.


In a shameful confession, I've even been so depressed, from giving up as if I was dancing in a fire, I said, "Well, we might as well pour more gasoline on it, since I'm going up in flames anyway" and made impulsive decisions with my money (too embarrassed to say what), this past couple of weeks. I had to stop, I realized it was bad for myself. This is where my mind has been recently.


With everything I try "failing" in my eyes, not getting the views I wanted, the money I wanted, shooting myself forward in a career, I felt like giving up everything, like nothing mattered, and so I lost all motivation. But after realizing everything I mentioned, I realized I needed to redefine what "success" really is, what happiness is all about.


My dad said something to me I will never forget: "All I want is your happiness, good health, and well being. I don't expect success. I'm happy that you're happy". It's one of the nicest things he's ever said to me, recently. It really makes me think. If he can see that in me, why can't I? So, that's it, I want my happiness. But, where can I find it?



Part 4: Soul Searching for Myself


This whole period has been a journey for me, seeking to reevaluate my life, to question everything I want, and thought I wanted. I looked back on my past achievements, and to put you in my shoes to understand why this is so confusing as to why I'm not happy, I'm going to list some of them:


  • At 16 years old I got a song I wrote, only 2 years into composing music, in the game Castle Crashers. As of now, the song has 1 1/2 million views on YouTube, I still get royalties for those views, because people still listen to it, as it's still a popular song, 12 years later. Like, how? People tell me this song made their childhoods, and is a part of video game history. This was after having my song Clearing the Sky featured on the Top 5 Weekly Audio on the Audio Portal page at the time.


  • Age 16, that September of 2008, I won the very first Madness Day Audio Contest, 1st Place, for my song Hank's Return (though honestly I felt the other submissions were way better than mine, still not sure why I won that, but hey, I'm honored). Krinkels and I became friends not too long after, honestly made me happy that he likes my music.


  • Age 21, Phyrnna and I designed a contest based on an album idea I had. This contest was (and is still) the Art-Inspired Music Contest, still going strong 7 years later, even after I stepped down as organizer (run by Random-Storykeeper, who is doing an amazing job). This was because Tom Fulp advertised it, he liked my ideas, made it an official Audio Portal contest/event, and remains to be one of the biggest based on the turnout and forum post views.


  • Age 22 - 25 (or somewhere around there), I ran my own music business, Flareheart Studio, composing music for others, making a decent amount of money as a side job, after taking many years to challenge myself, to see how many genres of music I could make, since I love many different styles of music. It turned out to be around 40 to 50 genres including subgenres. I ended the business because I was bad with time management, began to lack inspiration from others, I was backed up on orders, I got overwhelmed, burnt out, hardly slept, and ultimately was making me hate music.


  • Age 24, created Pixel Day, an idea for a brand new, original Newgrounds-exclusive holiday, for pixel artists, and building on the Neo-Geo foundation that NG was started on, inspired by games of the 90's. Tom said in the wiki it is his favorite Newgrounds holiday, and that meant a lot to me, still does. We judge it together every January. It's an annual holiday event that still happens every year.


  • Age 24, Tom Fulp commissioned me to make an original soundtrack for Pico's School (Newgrounds' most iconic game, that made it famous back in the early 00's for it's controversy) as well as to rescore the very first submission in the Flash Portal, Scrotum.


  • Some of my favorite artists I've been following since I was a kid on Newgrounds now follow me and say they enjoy my work, I'm even friends with some of them! I've done work with some of them too, or did tributes of their work they liked. Also, I met some of them at the Pico Day office party, as I was invited to the office parties multiple years. Being invited to Pico Day (the office party) is a rare opportunity for only a handful of hundreds. I love Philadelphia, and the people I talk to every time I go.


  • You guys (my fans) & my friends like Tom Fulp himself, all donated to get me out of Florida when I had my emotionally abusive roommate situation. That's a lot of love.


  • Age 28, auditioned to be one of the hosts of The Newgrounds Podcast, got accepted, did a good amount of episodes and interviews, and got many opportunities as a result of being on the show, one of those being that I now have my own radio show (@OfftheWallShow) broadcasting to two cities in Canada, even though it's volunteer and I don't get paid from it. I can play big bands, underground artists, and my music, over the radio waves, pre-recorded in my own house. Like, that's really cool, and my friend Hikari gave me this opportunity and has been immensely supportive.


The list goes on, but even all this alone, even ONE of these, is a huge accomplishment, and yet, I somehow have still been miserable? Doesn't feel right, man. Isn't that crazy? Isn't that weird? That's when I realized I had to take a step back and really think about what would make me happy, because for some reason, this ain't it, chief. Ultimately, I want to keep carrying my life, and I want to have fun, more times than I have been.


I started to think, "Is it just as simple as having a voice? As having the privilege to even be able to speak, since there are some who don't even have the ability to? That I wasn't aborted? That I didn't die before I was born"? I had another thought, "Think of a life without achievements, as if you never achieved anything like you have at all", to get to the root cause of my unhappiness, to challenge myself, to see what it would take to be proud of myself, to find the answers.


Ultimately, I wish I didn't have to focus on money, fame, trying to survive, it's stressful, and the system we're in HAS failed us, regardless. In this pandemic, it's really been wearing on me, making everything I dealt with, many times worse. Living by myself all these months (and living alone for years in the past), not seeing anyone, during my struggles, is hard.


I'm still looking for answers, I'm soul searching. Searching for myself. Searching for what would make me happy, what I live for, but I find it disappointing, and confusing, why none of these achievements gave me that long-term happiness, when I've achieved a lot. Ultimately, I think it's because I haven't been doing well enough for myself in my offline life, to have that peace and stability, to do something for my life, like Arnold did, to work hard at something, and lead my life with it, in a healthy way. I'm unhealthy.


I'm taking a break from music after my next album release on Friday, and I have a couple more projects to release soon I'm finishing up, but I'm trying to find something not out of reach, as my dad said today, "the one thing you need that's attainable. The world you need is one where you can attain something you can be successful in. You have to set a goal each day. Walk to a telephone pole, then walk back. The next day, walk a bit father, and farther the next day. You gotta keep going, and going, one step after the next".


I don't know what that attainable thing is, or something to lead my life like Arnold, but I guess right now I have to figure out something I can do available to me right now, attainable. I don't know the goal I'm working towards though, the career I want, that's unknown. I'm challenging myself to ask myself what I want. My dad said, "The question isn't, what I can do with the rest of my life, it's what I can do today". I guess that's all I can do for now, because he's right.


I feel like I want to create a community someday, and build a team of some sort, to build each other up. Maybe I could make games, tell stories from my experiences in creative ways. I've done that with some projects of mine. Secretly, a friend of mine who is working with a publisher, if all works out, whenever he's free, we want to make a game together adapted from one of my stories. I really hope we can. If anything, that would be something I would like to dedicate my life to, as it's been a passion project for 10 years, with that story. Maybe that's it.


If you have any advice, let me know. Thanks everyone, I'm currently seeking my happiness, and trying to figure out what I want to do with my life, trying to find my happiness with myself, instead of the toxic, unhealthy mindset I've been in. I'm gonna improve myself. Thanks for everyone who's been here this far. I love you all. See you Friday.


EDIT: Thank you @MysticSkillz for giving me another amazing speech video to watch, a compilation of speeches though, by mostly Denzel Washington, but also Will Smith (who i've watched all my life, always been a big fan of his), and this has been a big help to me, and what I want to do with my future. I think I have a better idea. Check it out:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnEf8z1aZns



EDIT, AGAIN: Upon realizing more even further...



Part 5: Who Is "Mr. Guy"?


As the time has passed since I last posted in this post about my journey to happiness within myself and my life, I have realized even more. Building on the point of seeking fun in life, to seek enjoyment in life, I began to notice other areas in my life, the little things, why I wasn't having fun, or wasn't happy about them. I've been breaking habits, and accepting situations out of my control for a change.


Another thing I realized that I wasn't happy with, well, I have always been unhappy with, is my natural speaking voice. It's better than it used to be, as I've worked on improving my speaking voice, but it sounds like I'm always scared or has a hint of anxiety and insecurity like I'm shriveled up, and I was. With my new attitude (which I will explain), I wanted to reflect confidence, empowerment, fun, playfulness, energy, to compliment my personality.


I never liked the way i talked because my mom raised me to talk that way, always correcting my grammar being too technical and articulate, so my accent was modeled after hers, and too uptight. I needed to relax, loosen up my voice. For years, I've been so sick of that anxiety-fueled way of talking, that reflects my insecurities. I want to talk in a way that says, for once, "I think I'm important, I care, and I'm my own presenter, I'm the presentation, and I am presenting myself as a showman". Something with pizazz, a little sizzle, projecting the positive qualities of my voice more. I have found this voice, broken out of my old way of speaking, and I love it. It's natural.


This leads me into an important decision I decided to make, well, a few. I've been thinking about rebranding to something new, everywhere but newgrounds (I will always be RealFaction here, period), taking on a new persona for the radio show, my youtube channel, my life in general. All my life i've been called Mr. Guy, by teachers, people at work, people love the name, and it's my real last name, as many of you already know, but I always thought it sounded like a character name, something made up. I always found my name odd, yet funny that it's my legit legal name.


I want my name to be the character, I myself want to be the character. I can be whoever I want to be, so why not have fun with myself? To be what I want to be, not for anyone else, but to impress myself, to be the show i like to watch, to enjoy my own presentation of myself, but bring along people for the ride, the adventure.


Why not be who I want to be, to decide to be more fun, to seek that fun in life, instead of worrying about being successful, but to just find the things that I enjoy in life, and radiate that joy to myself and the world? I want to reflect something pleasant, joyful, fun, playful, because that's me, that's my personality. That's the me I want to be. I want to reflect that in my voice, in my personality more, the way I dress, but for myself, to radiate that joy, to have fun with it, to be what i want to be, instead of always trying to please others and do things to make others happy to win them over to rely on them to judge if i knew what i was doing. I was so wrong.


I relied on my music, fame, money, girls, and i realized none of that would make me happy. Not even friends. Friends are nice, and help support you when you're down, sometimes we need that, but don't rely on friends, because in the end, they'll disappoint you. You can trust them, but don't rely on people solely, rely on yourself.


I realized i need to have a good time first, and in that, i will find joy wherever i find fun, and that joy will radiate through me, and spread it to others in turn, and when i give that to myself, it'll give that to the world. When you plant a plant, it grows, and in turn because it's healthy for itself, it gives to the world, and the world gives back, planting another one of those seeds.


In other words; If you're good to yourself, the world will be good to you, you'll be kind to others, they'll be kind to you, your joy will be giving to the world, and they'll give back to you, but don't rely on receiving anything. Rely on giving yourself the most fun you ever had while you're living. I gotta say "hey world, im havin fun, have some fun with me", but more so for me.


How good it felt to listen to those inspirational speeches, i wanna put that back into people. I want people to feel that feeling i felt, I want to spread more of that joy, because I love the feeling, and I remember how it felt when I was a kid and I didn't have that, I didn't have anyone like that to tell me the things I know now.


I was miserable because i wasn't having a good time with myself, or in life. I was constantly thinking life was about being successful, making it with money, or making it in the world at all. But, that's not it. You gotta make it with yourself, you gotta chase after joy, what makes you joyful, what is fun to you, what you enjoy, seize the fun things in the disasters, not to rely on friends, money, girls, any of that, but knowing how you manage to find a good time in what you do.


This realization started with a question my friend asked me, "What makes you laugh?" and that made me think. What makes me happy? What makes me laugh, and what makes me feel joyful? After watching that Denzel Washington speech compilation video, that's when I got it, when it struck me. So, I thought about the things I thought were funny, and fun in general, playful things, so I wanted to reflect more of that in my voice, my personality, even the way I dress, for fun, for myself, and I'm getting more energy, more motivation from it.


I'm learning how to walk in every day life with a spring in my step for a change, not to change things, but to change how i feel about myself, to change how i wake up, how i feel about the day, how to have fun win life in little ways. All these realizations not only broke me out of my dark place, but helped me see how to live, how to enjoy life for a change, how to enjoy myself, instead of judging myself, relying on that BS success, and now, I have detached myself from worrying about money, success, girls, friends, what people think of me, the works.



Part 6: Rebirth, Rebranding


With all this, I realize what makes me happy now, and what doesn't. Where I was doing things for attention, and where I'm doing things for myself now. I am going to finish up a few songs, and then take a break from music for a while. I'm not feeling it right now, and I'm honestly okay with that. After these few songs, which will be released soon, I am rebranding (except NG), and mainly using my secondary youtube channel "Real Talks", and turning it into "Mr. Guy".


It makes me happy that people like to hear me share advice and stories from my personal experiences from my own life, and honestly, I like doing that a lot. There's quite a few of those I have planned in Reality Bytes episodes. I plan on turning this entire post into one of those episodes, but I don't know if it'll be one, or multiple episodes, since I generally try to keep those episodes really short for the format I want.


Crypt: The Simple Sight Collection will be finished, and on BandCamp on Friday (they're waiving all fees on Friday too, so thats an amazing day for me to get sales) for $2 if you can pick it up. That might very well be the end of Piercing Lazer. I feel like Piercing Lazer has run it's course after 13 years, I'm okay with that. In the future, if I'm still feelin music for my side projects, I'll continue the debut record for A Silent Voice, my new rock project that kinda evolves and derives from the sounds of the newest Piercing Lazer album, but new stuff to the mix.


There's something else in the works but I can't talk about it yet, but I will when it's released this year in the soon future. I'll probably do more with character voices, voice acting in general, not sure what yet, but the NGVA Collab is coming out in the soon future, and I wrote a couple scripts for that, voiced in some of the skits, and am writing music for one of them too. WHEW. That's also some of the last music I'll do for a while, exclusive to that project.


Still don't know about Talking Real's future yet, it's kinda just updates. It used to be more like nerd theories though. I'll have to figure out what I want to do with it besides make it just an updates thing, I'm kinda sick of that. I feel like that was another thing I was doing for attention, so...ick. Just, no, I don't want to do that anymore.


So, a little more music, more of my radio show @OfftheWallShow (sorry for the missed upload, you'll get that later this week, and doing a new broadcast soon), more podcasting about my life stories and advice and other stuff, and who knows what else? Love you guys, thank you for your support as always. I know this is a lot to read, but I'll turn this into podcast form to maybe easier digest. I don't expect anyone to read this, but if it helps someone, I'm glad. :)


I want this to give hope to anyone who's struggled with depression, feeling hopeless, as I did. Find what gives you fun, worry less on success, do your best, and then you're golden.


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Posted by JohnnyGuy - August 24th, 2020


Simple Sight, the Necromancer Theme from Castle Crashers, that song I made in 2008, is getting a compilation album with every version I've ever made (including the new Simple Sight 2020 version I'm almost done with), spin-offs, some of my new music, featuring original co-founding member of Piercing Lazer, Dustin Dean!


Here's a preview of Simple Sight 2020, and the album trailer is below:


Thank you @JensVerse for the album cover! Watch the trailer: https://youtu.be/F1iqtXWGX98



It'll be available on my bandcamp & website for $2 the whole month of September, money has been really hard right now. After that, it'll go full price. Itunes & other digital stores, September 26th.


BandCamp: https://piercinglazer.bandcamp.com

Website: https://realfaction.net


TL;DR: I'm desperate for money and my new $5 album didn't sell and many people are for whatever reason waiting for updates on this one song from 2008 most people seem to think that's all I'm good for so might as well do an album of every version, one more new version, and throw on some new tracks to show people I'm still making good music. Been really depressed lately my efforts aren't doing much for my life, feeling lost and confused, but trying to get back up.


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Posted by JohnnyGuy - August 11th, 2020


If you love @TheNewgroundsPodcast, @ACoupleofCrickets, or @littlbox 's music, sadly he will be on hiatus for a while due to going to college to pursue his career for filmmaking, which is awesome.


I had the pleasure of interviewing him on my radio show, "Off the Wall" about his winning Art-Inspired Music (AIM) Contest submission, his music, his podcast history (like with @GoodL), and the official documentry on Logan Whitehurst he's been working on! Check out the extended NG cut of the interview, it's pretty funny:


PS: Show #4 is up too:




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Posted by JohnnyGuy - August 7th, 2020


Just uploaded the third broadcast of my radio show @OffTheWallShow! Thank you all for supporting Off the Wall, I'm glad I can help you guys get out there to radio stations in Canada. In this broadcast, I open up with some life advice about misunderstandings, I want to talk more and do more interviews. Here's the latest:


Look below for how you can tune into a new broadcast of the show on the airwaves tonight at midnight eastern time, and how you can submit your music to us!


Submit Your Music For Radio Play On Our Show!



We ESPECIALLY need Canadian artists to send us music right now to meet the 40% Canadian content per broadcast law, so tell your friends! We're always accepting of artists around the world though, submit your music! If you want to have any of your music featured on the show, post your stuff on our official forum: https://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/1453809 or email at OfftheWallRadio20@gmail.com.


(or just message me on here)


Catch Our Live Shows!


We're live on our Discord server every week. If you want to listen to the streams when they're live, you can subscribe to my youtube channel with notifications on.


Check the edited versions (newer episodes) on PeaceFM every Friday night at 12:00 AM midnight Eastern time USA, you can tune in on the website: https://peacefm.ca


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Posted by JohnnyGuy - July 28th, 2020


Yes, I did. Listen to the 4-minute podcast below for more info! Lots of great behind the scenes content for anyone who wants to support my work for $5 a month, as a musician, voice actor, and what not. You didn't think I would post noods did you? Nope. :P Check it out (I'm calling it RFTV): https://onlyfans.com/realfaction


Here it is: https://onlyfans.com/realfaction



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In Case You Get Judgemental & Just Want To Read


People get the misconception OnlyFans is only for modeling, but nope! Any content creators can jump on with non-explicit material too! Some of my fans (you guys) have been asking how to support me further like donations, and I figured this was a good way to do it, and there's a tip option on posts too, if you want to donate more!



OnlyFans Content You'll Recieve As A Subscriber


Early previews of songs, early content, exclusive content, Discord access, see when I'm live, decide what skulls on Halo to turn on my playthrough series, and an exclusive update podcast series called RFTV News (Talking Real won't be about updates anymore, but you'll still hear my radio show and Reality Bytes podcast).


I also got comedy songs on the way, voice acting comedy stuff, an unboxing video for my youtube channel regarding goodies from Japan, a full preview of a song for my new side project, etc. You'll be getting that video early on OnlyFans. Some content will ONLY be on my OnlyFans.



Closing


I needed a new direction, a new era for Real Faction. RFTV is it. OnlyFans. That's the best way to donate to me and support me further, and you'll get lots for it! Thanks guys, you've carried my career far, and I'll still be posting stuff here, and talking with you guys.



Let's see how many people freak out and not read this post or listen to the podcast and actually judge me by jumping to false conclusions. Hehe. Love you guys!


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Posted by JohnnyGuy - July 20th, 2020


Hey...so I haven't really been okay. The past week has been really rough on me. I lost my friend Dustin Farrow, may he rest in peace. They didn't even say how he died when I attended his funeral, which makes me angry i don't know. He was only 24, and in the past, was one of the best managers I could ever ask for, even if a short time.


Can't Make Music For A Little While/New Episode of Talking Real/New Music Project Previews


Also, rough week because I've had a consistent tension headache the past week where i am extremely sensitive to sounds, because my wisdom teeth finally fully grew in after what, 10, 15 years of slowly growing? And they're only NOW giving me issues as of a month ago. So....i won't be able to make music for a little bit, but the headache is getting better, so maybe sooner than later. In any case, I have to get those teeth taken out soon.


It's quite depressing not being able to play games or make music or do anything to distract myself to cope with the stress, the depression. I did however talk about this in a new episode of Talking Real, and showing you early previews of a couple songs from my new music side project: A Silent Voice. It's something I've been working on, also updates about Piercing Lazer, general music updates, etc.


Depression, Confusion About My Future


I won't lie....as of late i've not been okay. I've felt like this is a dead end, like i've given up on a lot of things, like i don't know what new direction to go. I realize the things i do are hobbies, but im afraid to pursue anything im currently doing as a career. I love the things I do, I pour a lot into them, but...something's missing.


I feel like...i haven't come across it yet. Like i haven't found that thing. But i've failed at many things and never went far enough to carry my life...but i've always wanted that one thing....community, to connect people, to connect to them. Someone reccomended School Secretary for a highschool, as well as Myers-Briggs tests I took recently, and I will say that's caught my interest. I'm just unsure. I feel old, tired, my spirit feels like it's fading sometimes, like it's the end, even when it isn't.


Sorry to sound depressing. I've not been myself, been going through a lot. I didn't even mention the hundreds of dollars car repair I can't afford (but my dad is helping me) and driving around hot weather with no working cold air for 5 hours, so got dehydrated driving all over town for 5 hours to find a place to fill my car with freon just to find out it was a worse problem than I anticipated. So, essentially my efforts meant nothing, I felt defeated.


I guess you could say, in my real life, that's how I feel a lot of the time. Defeated. Like anything I've done to try to stabalize my life in the way I can without working against my mental issues just, the effort means nothing. Even if the coronavirus wasn't around, I've always had this problem. But, that's why I'm in therapy. I'm making progress with therapy, but sometimes I still lack confidence in myself. It's hard sometimes.


Sorry this is long. There won't be any music for a short while, but I have been working on stuff before the past week i've had to deal with this horrible tension headache. I might be able to get back to it soon since I am getting better. Just a lot overwhelming me, been taking a break. Living alone makes it much harder too, I basically almost never see anyone, even before the coronavirus or before I went to florida, I lived alone for 6 1/2 years, a lot of people in town didn't talk to me or come over outside of work.


I have lived a very lonely life for many years, nearing a decade. It's part of my abandonment issues, my trust issues. People scare me, and yet I want to be close to people without being afraid, I want to overcome that fear. I miss a lot of people right now.



So, What Now?


Until I can start making music again (hopefully soon), I'm gonna probably start making more gaming videos again on my youtube channel ( https://www.youtube.com/realfactionmusic ). I recently did one of VRChat with me doing my Kermit the Frog impression, also did my 7 Days to Die comedy series Billy Joe & Company with one of my characters, but next I'm gonna do Halo: The Master Chief Collection starting with either Halo 2, or Halo 3, but with a twist.


If there's a way to turn down the music (originally there never has been, don't know why they didn't make that an option) I want to in certain parts, replace some of the music with my own, that I find fitting, to sorta do something original to stand out from other Halo playthroughs. Only if I can turn down the music in this version for my computer, or find a way to make it work. We'll see. I do have a track from years ago that's very Halo music inspired.


I'm also beta testing a friend's game (someone many of you know very well from years past, he's made many popular NG games I've always been a huge fan of him since I was a kid so it's an honor, I won't say who just yet) that has my music in it, and will be playable on Steam this year in the soon future. I'll keep you posted, still early to talk about.


I also have been thinking about something else, but I won't announce it until later this week, something BIG. It's gonna freak a lot of people out and it's gonna be hilarious, but I also think it's gonna genuinely help me. You'll see. This is all basically stuff I didn't mention in the Talking Real episode because I decided it after the episode, and just released an episode, so no sense in making another one just quite yet.


I'm also voice acting in a collab with voice acting though have to be careful with that too with my sensitive ears due to one of the high pitched voices I have to do for it...lol. Soon, soon. This week probably.


Overall I'm just in a rut, I'm confused, therapy made me change, and made me realize I haven't found my career yet, but I'm trying things, and I enjoy my hobbies, but I haven't figured things out yet. Sometimes I feel defeated I guess. Thanks for being here for me guys, I couldn't do any of this without you, you guys keep me going. Love you, will keep you posted later this week.


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